I feel numb

Some updates (for the no one who reads this thing, but just my own sanity nontheless)

1. My name is not Holly; and my friend's name is not Nick. They aren't even nicknames. My boyfriend is crazy, and I don't want him finding this blog. And yes, I know I should break up with him. I was planning on breaking up with him on Wednesday, but that didn't happen because...

2. I got a call on Wednesday from Nicks' mom. She told me that Nick has been acting out a lot lately, and on Tuesday he ran away from home, saying he was running away to die. The entire town had search parties sent out, and the found him 4 hours later wandering down a random street. His mom I should come out as soon as possible; the doctors are saying he probably has 2 weeks. I had a complete breakdown, so my mom flew in from Phoenix to be with me.

3. I have an airline voucher to fly to be with Nick, and I'm just waiting for his parents to tell me when to come. The day after talking to his mom, I talked to his dad, who said I should wait a few days. He's not himself and refuses to see people, even his own parents. So I did what any good Greek girl would do: I ordered a rediculous amount of baked goods to be delivered to his parents' house, found an online company that ships gelato (something we used to eat together all the time), and packed my bags so I will be all ready to go once I get the call.

I am trying so, so hard to not fall into the bad habits I've used as crutches in the past: bulemia, over-eating, obsessive working out, stress shopping. I'm trying to write down my thoughts, work through my issues and really just experience and acknowledge my feelings. That's easier said than done.

Please pray for my friend, his parents and sister, and all his family and friends.